Time for another Stand-Up Comedy Blog

By GottaLaff... WHO WASN'T SLEEPING IN. Well, maybe a half hour or so... shhh.

"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!

Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law. For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

What a week. HILLARY won big in Kentucky. OBAMA won in Oregon and JOHN McCAIN was in Florida and won at bingo. So everybody wins.

One of the last Democratic primaries will be held in the state of Montana. OBAMA was expecting to win the support of Montana's black voters, but, unfortunately, they both moved to Idaho.

Hillary is ready for the big primary being held in tropical Puerto Rico. She'll be campaigning in a thong pantsuit.

HILLARY is trailing OBAMA, but one thing you've got to give her, she's an optimist. She's the kind of person who always sees her pantsuit half full.

It's not only at the pumps that gas prices are skyrocketing. Now, even my Uncle Murray charges four dollars every time you pull his finger.

With the California Gay Marriage law upheld, there will be a rush of same gender weddings, but the choice of music for these affairs are almost non-existent. Here is a list of acceptable songs for the same-sex ceremony:

"Mack The Wife"

"Pam And Janet Evening"

"I Want A Girl, Just Like The Girl That Married Dear Old Mom"

"My Gal Hal"

"Days Of Bryan and Moses"

And a perfect video for that lesbian on your list:

"Seven Brides for Seven Brides"

What a crowd. Don't I know you from Forest Lawn?