By GottaLaff
Liberal Interpretation: Their headlines, my stories
McCain, Obama Hold Dueling Events in New Mexico As he watched the two presidential hopefuls stride the traditional 10 paces in opposite directions, President Bush was overheard whining audibly, "I wanna play swords too! I want my own weapons! I want my own sharp thingy!" The First Lady dragged Mr. Bush away by his ear and was quoted as hissing, "No more sharp objects! Jenna barely explained away that last piercing!"Clinton Apologizes for Reference to Bobby Kennedy Assassination She had intended to say it louder, and expressed her regrets that those in the back of the room missed any part of it.
'Indiana Jones' earns $311 million worldwide The studio's excitement was tempered when they learned that only 600-plus seats were filled. On a related note, ticket prices have risen to $500,000 each. Popcorn is extra.
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