BREAKING: Producer will plead guilty in Letterman case

By GottaLaff

Just now on MSNBC:

WNBC producer expected to plead guilty to extortion in the David Letterman case.

Update on the extortion of David Letterman: "Not guilty" plea

By GottaLaff

I'm watching David Shuster and Alex Witt on MSNBC, and they are updating the report about the extortion of David Letterman. Oh, but let's keep it all about sex. It's so much more fun:

Robert Halderman pleads not guilty.

Of course he did.

Letterman Reveals Sex Scandal With Employees

By GottaLaff

David, David, David... who do you think you are? A C Streeter?

David Letterman acknowledged on Thursday's show that he had sexual relationships with female employees and that someone tried to extort him over the affairs.

During the taping of his CBS late-night show in New York, Letterman discussed receiving a threat to either pay $2 million or risk the relationships being made public. [...]

As part of the case, Letterman said in a release that he testified before a grand jury and acknowledged sexual relationships with members of his staff.

There was a sting operation, in which he gave the other party a phony 2 million dollar check, per CNN:

He also added that he admitted to sexual relationships with staff members during the grand jury testimony.

"My response to that is, yes I have. Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would," said Letterman, according to the press release. "I feel like I need to protect these people -- I need to certainly protect my family."

It's like a pandemic.

Indictment suggests Rahm Emanuel, brother were victims of extortion attempt

By GottaLaff

Get the feeling we'll be finding out a lot about a lot soon?

Rahm Emanuel appears to have been a victim of one of the extortion attempts with which former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was charged tonight.

Patrick Fitzgerald's indictment refers to two incidents involving "Congressman A": In one, Blagojevich discusses approaching the unnamed congressman to broker a deal for Obama's Senate seat.

In another, unrelated, charge, Blagojevich in 2006 allegedly demanded that the congressman or his brother -- Emanuel's high-profile sibling is super-agent Ari Emanuel -- hold a fundraiser for the governor in exchange for releasing $2 million to support a publicly funded school.

Blagojevich "wanted it communicated to United States Congressman A that United States Congressman A's brother needed to have a fundraiser" for Blago, the indictment says. [...]

The indictment notes that Emanuel did not, in fact, hold the fundraiser; the money was released anyway.

AIG Executive: We're Being Extorted!

By GottaLaff

Call the Keystone Kops!

AIG Financial Products chief Gerry Pasciucco told a meeting of his European based derivatives gurus that the money vortex CEO Ed Liddy's request that they return their bonuses amounted to "blackmail." That's according to a London-based recipient of one of the bonuses -- London, you'll recall, is where the inimitable Joseph Cassano was employed -- who furnished the news agency with emails showing that AIG compliance officer David Haig had actually asked the country's Serious Organised Crime Agency to probe whether the (voluntary) requests could be legally considered extortion. [...]

"The vast majority of people in London have made the decision that the request is pretty offensive," the employee said. "It effectively constitutes blackmail whether it is criminal or not. There is no moral reason to give it back."

Self-righteous indignation abounds. How dare anyone offend these moral highgrounders?! Harrumph! The very idea!

An insurance company doles out a couple hundred million dollars to hold on to employees who merely by leaving the company could, by some obscure provisions of the wholly unregulated contracts said company made with approximately 97% of financial institutions known to man, require -- by the Godly covenant of contract law -- said company to owe said banks more money than probably even exists in the world... and the federal government that was forced to buy the company to appease the banks lest they usher in Armageddon, makes a wholly voluntary request to said employees, $180 billion into its effort, to return their bonuses to appease taxpayers...and yes I suppose under that sort of a system such a request just might sound like "extortion." Legal or not.

You wanna talk offended? You wanna talk extortion? Dial 1-800-America.