TBPNTOTV!!! Something strange edition!!!

By GottaLaff
TBPNTOTV!!!* is in full swing today!!! Why? Because they love triple exclamation points!!! That's how we know they are effective!!! Informative!!! Analytical!!! Today's team consists of Gloria Borger, Bill Madcap Schneider, and Suzanne Malveaux. Let's listen in:

Barack Obama just filled in for Teddy Kennedy, giving the commencement address at Connecticut's Wesleyan University.

Wolf: We just heard a personal reflection from Obama.

Gloria: He said to hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself, as he did in his own life, starting as a community organizer. It's something students can relate to.

Madcap: He devoted himself to community and national service, but something was strange about his speech. He listed ways young people could serve, but on Memorial Day weekend, he didn't say anything about serving in the military.

Gloria: McCain would be talking about that. McCain's theme has always been serve something larger than yourself, as Obama just talked about, but McCain would be referencing the military.

[Neener nanner on Obama. He hates the military. McCain loves the military. Gloria and Madcap said as much, so it must be true.]

Wolf: Suzanne's in Puerto Rico.

Suzanne: Puerto Rico could play a role in the primary elections. Obama and Hillary are here, trying to get the 55 delegates. Obama talked about veteran's affairs, appropriate to this weekend, and other things. Hillary is favored here.

[Suzanne contradicted Madcap and Gloria. Obama spoke appropriately of the military. She's not following the script. Fire her.]

Wolf: The Iraq War... how will it affect election?

Gloria: There will be clear choices. McCain says stay in, Obama says the opposite, get out... but without withdrawing all troops immediately, but he wants to get combat troops out as soon as is safely possible. The choices are stark.

Madcap: The war remains unpopular. It's not a big issue in the primaries because the candidates don't differ much. But the debate we need is: How to protect the security of the U.S., by staying and fighting terrorists, or by getting out so we don't recruit terrorists.

Gloria: It's a question of change vs. risk. What will you risk to get the change that you want? People are still insecure about national security.

*THE BEST POLITICAL NEWS TEAM ON TELEVISION!!!