Sarah Palin's ghost writer gets another book deal

By GottaLaff

Paging Flubby McSelfServing's ghost writer. There's been a spill in Aisle 2 at HarperCollins:

Publisher HarperCollins announced Wednesday that the former Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential candidate is working on a "celebration of American virtues and strengths."

::waving hand wildly:: Ooo! Pick me! I know! I know an American virtue: We didn't elect Flubby!

Her new work will "include selections from classic and contemporary readings that have inspired her, as well as portraits of some of the extraordinary men and women she admires and who embody her love of country, faith, and family," the publisher's statement reads.

"She will also draw from her personal experience to amplify these timely — and timeless_ themes."

But... how can she draw from nothing? Well, she does have a family. And she does belong to the Mutal Admiration Society with her psycho-phant John Ziegler.

[S]he is currently "gathering ideas and identifying favorite texts and examples."

And by that they mean, she is stealing material, copying and pasting, and calling that "penning a book".

I hope this time around, Flubby allows her ghost writer to sub when she quits before completing her book signings.

Sarah Palin the new Jesse Jackson?

By GottaLaff

Spotlight McWingnut the new Jesse Jackson? I smell a ghostwritten Facebook post coming:

Peter Brown: "Sarah Palin would probably blanch at the comparison, given their widely divergent world views, but these days her political profile looks quite similar to the Rev. Jesse Jackson's just over two decades ago."

"Simply put, the two emerged as political and media celebrities backed by exceptionally strong support within the most ideological wing of their respective political parties. But both also carry substantial political baggage with the much larger numbers of American voters who decide November elections."

Remember all the hubbub and ballyhoo, not to mention the falderol and ruckus, when the Rushpublics accused then-candidate Obama of being nothing more than a superficial, crowd-pleasing celebrity?

Let me see if I can detect any sounds of hubbub and ballyhoo now that Spotlight McWingnut has attained the very same same status....



Nope.

There is a huge difference between the two of course. Obama had substance as well as style. And he was popular enough to get elected to the highest office in all the land... by a landslide.

Jesse Jackson is an accomplished civil rights activist who's had his share of problems.

Half-Govner Palin quit. And has her share of ethics/honesty problems.

And proved her lack of heft when she resorted to writing crib notes on her palm.

No, she's not the new Jesse Jackson. She's the new punch line.

Hey Dude

By GottaLaff

To the tune of "Hey Jude":

Hey Dude,
You made it worse.
Shared your wife's job
So you both blew it.

The Quitter who took you into her heart
Had a brain fart
And you both knew it, knew it, knew it, knew it!

Nearly 3,000 pages of e-mails "draw a picture of a Palin administration where the governor's husband got involved in a judicial appointment, monitored contract negotiations with public employee unions, received background checks on a corporate CEO, added his approval or disapproval to state board appointments and passed financial information marked 'confidential' from his oil company employer to a state attorney."

First Dude, you and the wife be in a heap o' trouble.

Other revelations from the emails:

• Palin "coached her staff on how to disguise the amount of electrical work needed at the mansion to hook up her new tanning bed."
• Palin and her staff "stewed over the refusal of the state Public Safety Department to provide a plane so the children could fly to Todd's family's home in Dillingham."
• A Palin aide searched for a public event to use as justification -- "I just need one" -- to charge the state for an airplane flight for Palin's daughter.

Ethics McWhoMe? was the very same person who vehemently denied ethics abuse/abuse of power charges, remember?

Dudes! WTF?

Palin Gets $100K for Magazine Photo

By GottaLaff

Via Taegan and Gryphen we see how Barbie McLipSchmutz finally quit worrying (yes, yet another thing she quit) about exploiting her kids. Whew! For a minute there, I was worried about all of Babzie's worrying, which was becoming quite worrisome.

How nice for her that she and her daughter can relax and revel in their brand spankin' fat new bank statements:

Sarah Palin and her daughter, Bristol, "earned an eye-popping $100,000 for their new In Touch Weekly cover, "the New York Post reports.

"For just eight hours' work at her own home, Palin pocketed nearly as much as her $125,000-a-year salary as Alaska governor. It seems her decision to quit her political role is making big financial sense. Palin also reportedly earns $100,000 per public-speaking engagement, while she has a multiyear deal as a Fox News Channel analyst. Reps for the magazine and Palin refused to comment on the deal."

Tripp, Trigg, Trak, Truck, Trek, Drek, Heck. They're all just one big happy family living off of their Paris Hiltonesque fame.

All Bristol had to do was give birth and stand next to her mom at conventions and such.

All Barbie had to do was talk about Bristol giving birth, speak in tongues, fail at potential Veepitude, acquire an odd accent that doesn't represent Alaska, talk about her lipstick, forget O'Biden's real last name, incite hatred, have her ghost writer write, and then charge a whole bunch of money for talking incessantly about all of that and other stuff.

The family that exploits together is maladroit together.

First Bush, Now Palin Get(s) Motivated!

By GottaLaff

Barbie McLip$chmutz i$ jumping right into the How to Alienate Friend$ and Influence Moron$ pool:

Sarah Palin has joined the Get Motivated! speaking series, joining former President Bush as a previous speaker for the organization. Her topics:

• How to Successfully Manage and Balance Your Personal and Professional Priorities
• How to Overcome Obstacles with Creative Solutions
• The Secrets to Effective Decision-Making
• How to Have Grace Under Fire
• How to Become a Person of Influence

Let's take these one by one:

--Balancing personal and professional priorities is a snap for Barbie. She gave up reading, motherhood, and governing her own state to become a vice presidential candidate. Next.

--To get around legal findings, Barbie relied on Republican appointees and her usual doubletalk, as well as a spokesperson... and 3 words: Deny, deny, deny.

I have two words of my own: Section IV. From the TrooperGate report:

For the reasons explained in section IV of this report, I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 2952.110(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act.

--Barbie is good at one thing: Deciding to quit. And that's exactly what she did when she failed to show up for numerous engagements, quit her own vacation, and of course, when she abandoned her own state by blowing off her governorship.

--As for "grace" under fire, the time she got punk'd is the only time I remember Barbs showing a modicum of presence of what passes for a mind. Most of the time, she's been too busy accusing others of pallin' around with terrorists and arranging death panels, among many other things. That's anything but gracious.

--I'll give her this: She does have influence... on horny punditiots and weak-minded wannabes. The rest of us have somehow managed to avoid her lure. Or lore. Or lair. Or liar.

If anything, we're motivated to run in the opposite direction.

Palin to address alcohol industry event in Vegas

By GottaLaff

What a perfect match... Although, one would be hard-pressed to distinguish between a Barbie McLipSchmutz drunken state and her normal, er, usual one.

The ClusterFox gig can't hold a candle to this Big Do:

[A]ccording to Craig Wolf, the president and CEO of the Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America, who announced Tuesday that Palin will keynote the group's annual convention and expo in Las Vegas in early April.

"Governor Palin is a great supporter of America's free enterprise system and understands that industries like the beverage alcohol industry play a key role in driving our national economy. We're proud and honored to welcome her as a speaker," Wolf said in a statement. "We expect she will share with the convention attendees her analysis of the current political environment and her vision for America's future."

Yes, by all means, hang on to every analytical word Barbie also's out of her mouth. Her gift of in-depth, critical thinking is perfectly suited to an industry that depends on the inability of their clientele to walk and talk unimpeded.

Uh-oh. I feel a caveat coming on...

An aide to Palin was not immediately available to confirm the WLWA appearance.

Aide-ing and abetting the quititude. How many times has Babs backed out of an engagement now? 5? 12? 18139312?

Maybe the sweet scent of succes-- um, 80-proof will entice her to commit.

Or a couple of hundred grand.

Sarah Palin quits her own vacation

By GottaLaff

First Barbie McLipSchmutz blacks out her own running mate's name, then mumblejumbles something about it as the reason for her lack of incognito-itude.

And now she quits again... quits her own vacation... blaming ... the blacked out McCain visor. Here's an idea, Barbie. Wear a different visor... or try a hat:

Sarah Palin announced Thursday night that she ended a Hawaii vacation early because of the ruckus raised after she blacked out "McCain" on her sun visor in an effort to elude paparazzi.

Who would ever recognize her after she expertly covered the perimeter of her empty little noggin? Why, she's positively transformed! For a minute there, I thought she was Glenn Beck:

"Todd and I have since cut our vacation short because the incognito attempts didn't work and fellow vacationers were bothered for the two days we spent in the sun. So much for trying to go incognito."

How does she come up with sentences like that?

Let's recap: She and Todd the Husband quit their trip because people saw through that clever disguise and were then upset because she shared the sun with them.

If only she had blocked out McCain's name more effectively, changed her face, and kept Trig, Todd the Spouser et al. under a blanket, they could have hung out in President Obama's home state for days!

Yeah, she's the best presidential material ever.

Sarah Palin's dad: She left Hawaii because Asians made her uncomfortable

By GottaLaff

I guess Barbie McLipSchmutz is, as she says, "one of us", if by "us" she means "not them".

During an interview with reporters (who wrote "Sarah From Alaska"), Sam Tanenhaus (who reviewed Barbie's ghostwriter's book) noticed that Papa Palin contradicted his own Daughter the Quitter's reasons for leaving college in Hawaii.

Which means, she has now achieved merging quitting with lying in one fell swoop.

Presenting the ol' Quit/Lie Combo served up all nice and crispy with a side of Word Cole Slaw and a heaping ladleful of "brown people make me colicky":

Palin, though notoriously ill-traveled outside the United States, did journey far to the first of the four colleges she attended, in Hawaii. She and a friend who went with her lasted only one semester. "Hawaii was a little too perfect," Palin writes. "Perpetual sunshine isn't necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls." Perhaps not. But Palin's father, Chuck Heath, gave a different account to Conroy and Walshe. According to him, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: "They were a minority type thing and it wasn't glamorous, so she came home." In any case, Palin reports that she much preferred her last stop, the University of Idaho, "because it was much like Alaska yet still 'Outside.' "

Asians and Pacific Islanders just weren't glamorous enough for her. Damn. If only they were into high heels, lipstick, and hip-waders.

And we all know how "minority type things" can make a girl feel all squirmy and outta the Hawaiian loop. Who can blame her for needing to escape from all that island clique-itude?

Heywaitjustadurnminute... Did she just reject President Obama's birthplace... again? Boy howdy, I think she did.

H/t: TexBetsy

"Rogue" CD is... abridged. Sarah the Quitter does it again!

By GottaLaff

Abridged. Her CD is abridged, just like everything else Barbie McLipSchmutz undertakes. Or should I say, underta--

I wonder if she quit mid-sentence. Oh wait. I just made the assumption she could read. Silly moi.

Maybe her ghostreader learned basic quititude from her underling? Barbie can then point her overused finger of blame at her.

That's a wrap. I'm about done with this po--

H/t: Julie and Micheal (Symbolman) of Going Rouge fame

Dep't. of What, Again? When will Sarah the Quitter quit quitting?

By GottaLaff

(AP Photo/The Tri-City Herald, Richard Dickin)

Going rogue doesn't mean going AWOL, Barbie:

Cheers erupted along the Columbia River on Thursday morning as Sarah Palin and her large family of “Rogue Runners” approached the start line for the annual Turkey Trot.

Oh boy! A chance to rub shoulders with Barbie McLipSchmutz in a running outfit, this time not leaning on the American flag!

I can just hear the murmers of adoration, smell the anticipation-induced sweat, taste the fangirl/fanboy fervor!

Both fun run participants and spectators who’d been waiting more than an hour in the bitter cold for a glimpse of the former Republican vice presidential candidate rushed to snap her picture with cameras and cell phones.

I hope every potential snapper got satisfaction this time. I mean, after that last fiasco in which Barbie abandoned her groupies, she wouldn't dare renege this time, right?

Palin had announced on Twitter that she would be running the 5K race, organized by the Benton-Franklin Chapter of the Red Cross.

However, she didn’t finish the race, opting to leave the course early to avoid more crowds at the end. About 40 minutes into the run, people gathered at the finish line to get more pictures of Palin started to learn that she was gone.

Ruh-roh. This can't end well.

Towards the end of the race, the officers asked Palin what she wanted to do. Palin decided to divert off the course and head back to their cars so the family could get to their Thanksgiving dinner, Pitts said.

Sarah the Quitter should quit while she's behind.

H/t: Williams1977 aka Gimmeabreak, Rumproast

VIDEO: Angry Wingnuts Boo Sarah Palin, Call Her “Quitter”, Chant “Sign Our Books”

By GottaLaff

Looks like Barbie McLipSchmutz is losing a few more of her already low approval ratings points:

Angry crowd shouts at Sarah Palin at her book signing in Noblesville, Indiana on November 19, 2009 after Palin quits and refuses to sign books for around 300 families that spent about 3+ hours getting wristband and another 3+ hours waiting in line to get the Palin book signed. At Borders bookstore it was announced that 1,000 individuals would be given wristbands and could get two books signed each. By the time Sarah Palin quit, there were still about 300 individuals and there families who did not get even one book signed.

Liberal media elitists the farmer and my fellow co-blogger StrangeAppar8us have been collecting hostile comments from Sarah Palin’s Facebook page over in the Rumper Room.

For a nice hefty sampling of said comments, go here.

Yes, Sarah the Quitter strikes again.

Here's part of one comment:

Jordan Harris I just spent 9 hours of my day, $40 of my hard earned money on two of your books, and took the whole day off work to watch you jump on a bus and throw a half-heated wave to the crowd you were avoiding.

I have never felt so disrespected. How can you claim that you are different? You aren’t. You are just as selfish as everyone else in Washington.

Tsk, tsk. Barbie, your true colors show more and more at every tick of the clock. Maybe when you referrred to yourself as one of the people, one of us, you were referring to how "us" behaves on a bad hair, cranky, everything-goes-wrong, hate-the-world, thinking-of-nobody-but yourself day. If that's the case, then yes, you are one of us... at our worst.

And by all means, please keep on doing those Tee Vee interviews. The more we know you....

H/t: Andy Cobb

PhotOh! Shannyn Moore's excellent sighting

By GottaLaff

My Twitter pal Shannyn Moore snapped a photo that I had to share with you:

The fun doesn't end. Shannyn has more here.

"For someone who claims to be rogue... hypocritical to not let media...cover" her

By GottaLaff

Well guys and gals, Sarah the Quitter is quitting... again. This time she's washing her hands of media coverage on her not-so-excellent Wisconsin adventure. Going Mute:

[N]o press will be allowed into the Milwaukee auditorium where she will speak and those who have paid the $30 admittance fee are unable to carry in cell phones, cameras, laptops, or recording devices of any kind.

Wisconsin Democratic Party Chairman Mike Tate told the Wisconsin Radio Network he finds all these restrictions "bizarre."

"You know, for someone who claims to be a rogue and isn't afraid of what other people think it really is sort of hypocritical to not let the media, the press cover your event."

Come on, Wisconsin, would you want a record of your rancid, badly tossed, wilted Word Salad out there?

Sarah Palin involved in another scheduling mishap

By GottaLaff

I didn't realize how difficult it was going to be for me going back to work, splitting my time between school and the blog. So, for now, until I catch up with the latest news, here's something to tide us over:

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin appears to be involved in another scheduling mishap, the fourth time in as many months organizers of an event expected an appearance from the GOP star only to discover at the last minute she would not attend.

Good old Sarah the Quitter... quits... again. Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SuperQuitter!

The latest confusion involves an Alaska Family Council event Thursday night to promote a state ballot issue that would make it illegal for anyone under 18 years old to obtain an abortion without parental consent.

While the organization continues to bill Palin on its Web site as the top speaker at the kickoff for a statewide signature drive, a spokeswoman for the former governor says Palin had never agreed to participate, nor was she even asked.

Hmm, that's funny. Organizations keep getting the impression from some-bod-y that SuperQuitter will speak at their events, yet somehow she continues to contradict all of them. Either all four groups have amnesia, or SuperQuitter is an unreliable flake.

One guess which it is.

If she's not careful, they might start feeling as if she's not into their causes...

... and that she's a flake.

While a source places blame for the mixup on the group, saying Palin has been "set up a few times before" by Alaska Family Council President Jim Minnery, such scheduling snafus appear to have become a regular occurrence for Palin, one of the Republican Party's most popular figures. [...]

Organizers at all of those events say they believed they had received assurances from her representatives, only to learn that either the former governor's aides in Alaska or her staff at SarahPAC had been unaware of the commitment. That set of advisors would then announce publicly that Palin had never planned to attend the event.

Or maybe SuperQuitter is just, you know, an unreliable, lying flake.

Sarah Palin accused of attempted bribery

By GottaLaff

Ohhh say it ain't so Sarah the Quitter. Yet another charge claim? What is that, 20 now?

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, who left office in disgrace July 26th under a cloud of ethics charges, is now being accused of a federal claim of attemped bribery. See federal claim (PDF 52 kb)

To clarify a previous complaint, the motion also accuses Palin of a violation of Alaska's constitution.

From the motion to amend:

"2.Plaintiffs wish to add a very serious federal claim of attempted bribery and other violations of similar federal and state statutes under supplemental jurisdiction....

....offering state funds and support of legislation to third parties in exchange for them convincing Plaintiffs to drop this lawsuit in federal or state court."

Oh my. Big fat federal claims. Bribery. This can't end well. Tisk, tisk.

Sarah the Quitter better watch her step or next thing she knows, she may have to go before a death panel.

(click on image to enlarge)

H/t: Cody, cbn2

Bachmann VIDEO + Palin uses her "baby with Downs Sydrome" to slam Obama's "evil.. death panels"

By GottaLaff

Yes, it's finally happened. Sarah the Quitter is touting the one... the only... ::fanfare:: Michele Bachmann in her Facebook rant about the Obama's Evil Health Care Plan. [Ominous music goes here] Sarah Louise even says "hell", so she must be extra crispy serious!

Enjoy:

As more Americans delve into the disturbing details of the nationalized health care plan that the current administration is rushing through Congress, our collective jaw is dropping, and we’re saying not just no, but hell no!

The Democrats promise that a government health care system will reduce the cost of health care, but as the economist Thomas Sowell has pointed out, government health care will not reduce the cost; it will simply refuse to pay the cost. And who will suffer the most when they ration care? The sick, the elderly, and the disabled, of course. The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

Health care by definition involves life and death decisions. Human rights and human dignity must be at the center of any health care discussion.

Rep. Michele Bachmann highlighted the Orwellian thinking of the president’s health care advisor, Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, the brother of the White House chief of staff, in a floor speech to the House of Representatives. I commend her for being a voice for the most precious members of our society, our children and our seniors.

We must step up and engage in this most crucial debate. Nationalizing our health care system is a point of no return for government interference in the lives of its citizens. If we go down this path, there will be no turning back. Ronald Reagan once wrote, “Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this earth.” Let’s stop and think and make our voices heard before it’s too late.

- Sarah Palin

Ooo, scary stuff, huh? And now... He-e-e-ere's Bachmann!

Sarah the Quitter quits Reagan Library engagement

By GottaLaff

Wowzers! Sarah the Quitter is one big sinkhole of self-destruction:

As repeatedly stated to several in the media over the last week, former Governor Sarah Palin is not committed to attend the Simi Valley Republican Women’s event at the Reagan Library and in fact is not attending the event. Neither the Governor’s state staff nor SarahPAC has ever committed to attending this event or speaking at this event, and even requested that the Governor's name be removed from the invitation several weeks ago. The Governor has other work and commitments to take care of at that time. She looks forward to visiting her friends in California soon.

All event requests must be confirmed with Meghan Stapleton of SarahPAC. Additionally, all invitations bearing the Governor’s name must be approved by her attorney before proceeding.

Thank you.
Meghan Stapleton

Does this poor excuse for a public figure know how to commit to anything? Apparently Clear Channel doesn't think so. They were smart enough to realize 3 measly hours was too much for her.

Clear Channel rejects Sarah the Quitter

By GottaLaff

Dear Clear Channel,

Need a new talk show host? I'll try to find ya some and I'll bring 'em to ya, since Sarah the Quitter didn't quite fit the bill.

Love, Laffy:

Broadcasting & Cable's Paige Albiniak casts doubt on Sarah Palin's radio prospects, and says that her sources claim Clear Channel has already turned Palin down out of fears that she can't sustain a regular three-hour radio show.

Good deduction, since she couldn't sustain a regular term as governor either.

While you might assume Palin would be a better fit for conservative radio than the less partisan world of syndicated broadcast TV, my sources say the country's biggest radio conglomerate, Clear Channel, has already passed on her.

The main objection to Palin as radio talk-show host is that she would have to hold forth for three hours a day.

Read the full report here.

Three minutes of ear-splitting Palinspeak would be overkill.

So, how's that new life workin' out for ya, S the Q? Oh and by the way, how 'bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quite makin' things up.

H/t: Ellen

VIDEO- Bill Maher To Sarah the Quitter: "Whos Been Better to Guns Than Hollywood?"

By GottaLaff



"I would never miss a Sarah Palin speech... even though there's seems to be a new one every week. I mean, how many times does this woman get to quit?"

Quote-O'-The-Day: Sarah the Quitter is Not the Center of Our Universe edition

By GottaLaff

Quote-O'-The-Day:

"I can tell you with absolutely honestly that when I sit around with my political friends... there's very little or no discussion of Sarah Palin."

-- White House adviser David Axelrod, interviewed on CNN.

Quitting the Quitter.