Surprise! U.S. Expects Bin Laden Message Near Election

By GottaLaff

Seems our government loves a good rumor. Well here's one: Bin Laden is in Gramm-pa McCain's corner. Look! Here comes another big fat juicy one as we speak:

Multiple senior government officials tell ABC News the intelligence community is anticipating a message from Osama bin Laden before or just after the presidential election.

As we race toward Election Day, sources say a number of intelligence analysts have concluded it is critical for al Qaeda's top leader to be seen or heard, if only for public relations purposes. [...]

According to sources, the full weight of the intelligence electronic eavesdropping and human sourcing is right now desperately looking for any hint of a bin Laden statement. So far there is only rumor, no hard evidence a message is coming, officials said.

Another perfectly timed unsubstantiated, meaningless rumor. Boy howdy! Good thing they're circulating it! We wouldn't want the election to be completely unaffected by terrorism this time around.