Gay student & developmentally disabled sent to fake prom

By GottaLaff

So many words come to mind after reading this: Cowards. Discrimination. Hate. Ignorance. Pain. Shame. Wrong. Segregation. Tears. Reprehensible. Deception. Sneaky. Bullies. And several others that are unprintable....

To avoid Constance McMillen bringing a female date to her prom, the teen was sent to a "fake prom" while the rest of her class partied at a secret location at an event organized by parents.

What must this be doing to Constance? I can't even imagine, even though I can actually relate somewhat, because I went through a lot of bullying when I was a teeny, skinny, shy teen. But she seems to be one strong kid, stronger than most:

McMillen tells The Advocate that a parent-organized prom happened behind her back — she and her date were sent to a Friday night event at a country club in Fulton, Miss., that attracted only five other students. Her school principal and teachers served as chaperones, but clearly there wasn't much to keep an eye on.

This next part will add to your current nausea:

Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls.

I work with special ed kids all the time. They are wonderful, sweet, and do nobody any harm. These are people, with feelings, who are being treated as if they have none, who are being looked on as less important, as something so offensive, so contemptible, that they have to be hidden away.

I can't imagine how "branded" these seven students must feel, and what an indelible imprint this has made, regardless of how courageous they may seem to us, or how big her smile is in that photo (go read the whole piece; Constance is an amazing, positive teen).

They hurt.

And I hurt for them.

H/t: BetseyB, Greg Ostravich

"The Parent Trap": My teen pal gets published in Mother Jones!

By GottaLaff

We love seeing bad parents getting punished. Why don't we care how that affects their kids—like me?

— By Cassie Frequels

Awhile back, I was proud to post a few pieces by my very talented teen pal, Cassie. TPC readers were unanimous in their praise for each and ever one of them.

She and I have been corresponding back and forth, forth and back about a new piece she's been working on, and how Allen McDuffee was giving her an intro to Mother Jones magazine.

Guess what?

Although I never blurted anything out on national television that led to the arrest of one of my parents, I think I may know how 6-year-old Falcon Heene and his brothers feel as their dad begins a 90-day sentence for his role in the infamous "Balloon Boy" hoax. I am sure they blame themselves, and I know they're worried about what will happen to them after their father (and then their mother) goes to jail.

My mother was incarcerated more than seven years, so I’ve often written about this topic on my blog. [...]

My dad left town when I was six and I have never seen him again.

Congratulations, Cassie! You earned this one!

Now please, go read the whole piece. You won't be sorry.

"The past year is the first one in my life that has been entirely violence-free"

By GottaLaff

I like blogging on Saturdays, because it's the pace is a little slower, and I get to post things that I ordinarily wouldn't have time to during the week.

I have a 19-year-old friend who wrote some very poignant and noteworthy thoughts that we would like to share with you:

From the time I was born until a year ago, I was a victim of family violence. Today I am a survivor.

I've survived with the help of counselors, friends, the family I've been staying with, and my writing.

The past year is the first one in my life that has been entirely violence-free.

Almost every adult in my family has hit me at one time or another, most of them repeatedly. Until a year ago, I was always afraid to get my family members in trouble, and I am still not completely ready to go public with my story. But I do want to publish my poetry anonymously and encourage any other victims to seek help. The first night without family is the hardest, but having a home where you're not afraid is definitely worth the newness.

I wrote this my first night with friends, and today I'm not a stranger, fully a person, sometimes still crying, and I've redefined family.

Pretty room in a pretty house.
My things are here.

I am a stranger.
Half here
Half crying
Half a person
Less than half
a family.

A vacation visit
but I can't go home.
Home is gone.
Family gone.
Now I am gone.

I wrote this a few days later, but have since made peace with my changed family circumstances.

"You do as I say!"
"But not as You do."
"I WILL make you listen."
"Forever I do."

Bruises and welts-
Hurt through and through.
Family gone now.
Forever gone too.

If you can't even imagine a violence-free year, it's time to get help. Your community can be there for you.

Woven to make a net
The arms of the community
Catch us when we fall
Or when we are pushed.

Woven into a hug
The arms of the community
Hold us when we hurt
Or when we are hurt.

Woven with bonds of love
The arms of the community
Hug us until we
Can hug them back.

The young author is the very definition of bravery, the very essence of survivor, and one who knows profound pain all too well and is learning to conquer it. She is someone who I truly admire.

Thank you for allowing me to post this. I hope it will circulate widely enough to be seen by so many who need to read it.

You have provided others in your situation with inspiration: an outline of the courage it takes to confront devastation, the knowledge that there are people who want to help, and the wisdom to realize they can do something about it.

EXCLUSIVE: Polanski victim's teen niece shares personal feelings about scandal

By GottaLaff

To my surprise, one of my favorite students (I'll call her Annie) is the niece of Samantha Geimer. Yes, the very same Samantha Geimer who was raped, er, with whom Roman Polanski engaged in unlawful sexual intercourse when Geimer was 13 years old.

Annie approached me with her story voluntarily, and her mother graciously gave me permission to interview her. I had no idea she was related to Samantha Geimer. My mouth literally dropped open.

I was interested in Annie's feelings about her aunt's ordeal and subsequent attention, but only that. The rest of the scandal has been covered and re-covered. But how did Annie take the news? What was it like to realize a family member was the center of a decades-long scandal? How did it affect her, a young teenager? How is she doing?

I can answer that last one: Just fine, thank you. In fact, she's one intelligent, funny, insightful, amazing 15-year-old.

Here is Annie's story, from her point of view (she talked, I took it all down):

I was 13. I Googled my own name one day, I was bored. My name is so close to hers [her aunt's] that it came up. I did an image search and saw my aunt! I saw all these interviews, and Polanski came up, too. I clicked on a CNN piece, a recap of the story.

I got chills. I couldn't believe that happened to someone so close to me. I mean, she's been to my house! So I asked my mom about it. "So , do you know about Aunt Sam?" She said, "Well, what do you know?" She laughed at me Googling myself and then explained everything in detail. "You're gonna find out anyway." She explained who Polanski was, and how they met.

It really disgusts me. What if that happened to me?? He's so famous! If it happened now, it would be like, they'd say I'm trying to get my 15 minutes of fame.

Seeing how people sleep with this person or just go out with that person... wow.

I'd just seen "Rosemary's Baby". I felt, well, really eerie about that.

I felt bad for her, or that it would happen to anybody, being on the news all the time. I can't even put into words, someone so genius and Hollywood, such a great director, could do anything so vile and disgusting.

I'm not very close with my aunt, but she came over from Hawaii to see us, so...

I tried to talk to my dad. I was worried that he'd try to hush me up about it. I wanted to see how he felt about it, but he doesn't like to talk about feelings. I never found out how he felt [Note: Samantha Geimer is his sister-in-law], he just said it was an awful thing to happen. I felt sad; it's something you can't talk about?

Everyone in the world can talk about it except the people related to it.

Mom [who Annie lives with, her parents are divorced] did talk about it. She said not to see Aunt Sam differently, it doesn't make her disgusting or a victim all the time. She's still my aunt, not a 13-year-old victim.

The next time it came up was when Polanski got an HBO special or something, about his life. I was at my dad's. He just got an e-mail of photos from Aunt Sam, from her trip to New York. She went there for the HBO premier and to do a bunch of TV appearances, the Today Show, others.

I asked, "Oh, is this from what happened? Because they're honoring him in a way!" And he said, "Yeah."

A few days later, a teacher asked if I was related. I was 14. They were surprised I shrugged it off. They always are, people who ask me.

I DVR'd a show, E Channel's Top 100 Shocking Moments. That was one of them. I was like, "This is crazy!" I said to Nana, "She's on TV again," and we watched it together. We chuckled about how we knew all the names and everything... not at the situation.

It's crazy how on Nancy Grace, people argue about it, practically spitting in each other's faces. They think they know her.

I'm sympathetic that her name comes up a lot, and now people talk about her publicly, judge her. Were you there? I wasn't! I don't know if I could handle that. You can't go up there and defend her.

Personally, I think Aunt Sam has a screw loose, from all her "extra curricular activities." [Those will not be divulged here, per Annie's request] The only reason she got the house in Hawaii was from the payoff. She needed to get away, raise her family there. [For the record, Annie is very sympathetic.]

Generally, I don't define her by the Polanski thing, but by the way she acts.

Every girl has a "girl sense". Didn't she have that? I'd never get into a hot tub! Her mother... It's such a stage mother thing to do. I wonder how she feels. I'm a 15-year-old girl. I'd never leave my child anywhere, even with a celebrity! You don't know who that person is behind the pictures.

I think she was very naive to stay there. I would have gotten the "girl sense, the creep feeling". Am I the only one who is that intuitive? Sometimes I get that feeling just from a picture!

I used to really care, feel really angry, when they talked about it. How can they say those things? But now, I don't really care as much, because we had a sort of falling out. I care for her, have sympathy for her, but don't really care about how it affects her now.

I think it's really crazy how small the world really is. My friend's grandfather was the first cop on the scene of the Manson murders. Six degrees of.... me.

Thank you Annie, for sharing your feelings so freely and for your unique viewpoint.

You have great instincts and a great head on your shoulders. Let's hope more girls pay attention to their "girl sense" or the "creep feeling". And maybe, hopefully, your words will help others.

Political Carnival Exclusive: Text messages from the Obama inauguration

By GottaLaff

One of my students is in Washington D.C. Here are her text messages, verbatim:

Highlights of the day:

These people tore down the gates around the inauguration when it was through. They had to call the army in to police it.

Also, whenever a Democrat came to the stage, they were cheered and when the Bush administration came on, everyone booed. And during the first religious speech, almost everyone around me cried.

She should be texting me again. One personal teen p.o.v., and she's having the time of her life.