Pregnancy, gays banned by U.S. Military, but if you’re a convicted rapist…sign here.

By GottaLaff

I've been out for a day or two, and Paddy has been covering like a champ. While I catch up on the mounds of e-mails and tweets, and Paddy takes a well-deserved break, we all benefit from a very welcome guest post.

TPC has generous, talented friends in high places who offered to lighten the load a little: The sharp as a tack radio/TV personality/blogger Shannyn Moore (you've seen her on Countdown with Keith Olbermann) and the very accomplished writer/investigative journalist Allen McDuffee (who has been a consistently wonderful supporter of this blog).

Here is their very welcome contribution, and we are honored to be able to include their excellent work on TPC:

Hats off to Maj. Gen. Anthony Cucolo III for taking the heat off McChrystal and Petraeus on Afghanistan by telling women (and the men who impregnate them) that if they get pregnant on his watch in Northern Iraq, it will be a punishable offense, which may include jail time.

Yesterday, Amanda Terkel at Think Progress cleared up one of the immediate misconceptions about Cucolo’s policy: pregnancy by sexual assault.

To ensure a consistent and measured approach in applying this policy, I am the only individual who passes judgment on these cases. I decide every case based on the unique facts of each Soldier's situation. Of the very few cases handled thus far, it has been a male Soldier who received the most severe punishment; he committed adultery as well. Though there have not been any cases of sexual assault, any pregnancy that is the product of a sexual assault would most certainly not be considered here; our total focus would be on the health and well-being of the victim and justice for the perpetrator.

Cucolo is reportedly backing off his policy, according to an ABC news report today, saying “I see absolutely no circumstance where I would punish a female soldier by court martial for a violation ... none…I fully intend to handle these cases through lesser disciplinary action."

Nonetheless, the Army’s Inspector General in Iraq, David L. Thompson, says that the whole thing is completely legal.

Whether or not the policy is legal, implemented or not implemented, here are 8 ways this shows how wrong-headed the Army is on pregnancy and a whole lot more.

1) Fornication, ok. Pregnancy, not ok. This one kind of speaks for itself.

2) The new military directives include the dismissal and possible criminal charges against becoming pregnant, or impregnating a service member. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander…that’s fair…but what if the gander is a Blackwater contractor? How many times have you seen a successful prosecution of a military contractor?

3) Speaking of contractors, which one will win the Pentagon contract for providing $10 condoms, $200 diaphragms, $25 contraceptive sponges or whatever else? Seems like Halliburton territory. They’re the ones with the biggest Dick in their past, after all.

4) Controlling and punishing pregnancy in the military has become a priority over, you know, actual criminal behavior. We all know how badly sexual assault escalated since the Iraq invasion, but nearly 7 years later not much has changed. This month, a military task force reported its findings after a year-long survey. Not good, according to The Virginian Pilot, saying that the report concluded “too often the perpetrators go free and the victims do not get the assistance they deserve.”

5) After lowering the standards for the US military to include felons, including rapists can we really afford to lose more service people? Think about it. If you’re gay…pack your bags. If you’re pregnant, you are out of there. If you got someone pregnant…well, you’re out too. If you’re a convicted rapist…sign here.

6) So many questions about abortion…

Who supports this? The Anti-Choice groups? What are the chances of a back door barrack abortion to save a job? Will military docs provide Plan B or an abortion? Will abortions be recommended (read: coerced)? Will the Pentagon find a way to federally fund abortion to SUPPORT THE TROOPS killing THE TERRORISTS? What will it take to get a front row seat to watch Sen. Ben Nelson blow a gasket when he finds out.

And what will conservatives do when their two favorite pastimes collide: dropping bombs and controlling women’s bodies?

7) War is hell. Is it hell enough that you’d get pregnant for a “Get Out Of War Free” card?

8) It’s got to be difficult to feel pretty and pregnant in camouflage…nothing quite like strapping a gun on a baby bump. Can’t imagine there’s anything much more life affirming after a long day of death and destruction than human contact…in a good way.

Ok, ok—in all seriousness, there must be some cases of female service members getting pregnant intentionally to get out of combat zones in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But there must be better ways of addressing that concern of Cucolo’s. Let’s hear your ideas below.



Let me know if the video shows up for you. It's not showing up on my computer, and I have no idea why.

Pregnant? Want paid leave in the U.S.? Fuggetaboutit

By GottaLaff

Pfft! Come on. Who needs money when you're pregnant?

(click on image to enlarge)

VIDEO- Kyl: ‘I Don’t Need Maternity Care’ In Health Policy; Stabenow: ‘Your Mom Probably Did’

By GottaLaff

Oh-h, suh-nap!



If Kyl needed maternity care, he'd be the first man who ever did. But I digress.

My maternity care was 100% covered between the Writers Guild and S.A.G. plans, and it was a good thing. The minute it was determined I was carrying twins, I was considered "high risk" and I was visiting doctors and labs every two minutes. Between all that and the actual delivery, it would have cost me a fortune.

Maternity care, in fact, is a perfect example of why Kyl’s amendment is so bad. Most individual health insurance markets don’t cover maternity care. [...] Anthem Blue Cross — which has been actively fighting health care reform — considers pregnancy optional and therefore not necessary to insure:

“The point of insurance is to insure against catastrophic care costs. That’s what you’re trying to aggregate and pool for such things as heart attacks and cancer,” said an Anthem Blue Cross spokesman. “Having a child is a matter of choice. Dealing with an adult onset illness, such as diabetes, heart disease breast or prostate cancer, is not a matter of choice.”

“A well defined minimum benefits package would compel health insurers to provide basic services to all Americans,” adds Volsky. “The Kyl amendment, which ultimately failed, would have allowed the industry to continue profiting from discriminatory practices.”

I think the Senate needs a Kylectomy. I wonder if that's covered.

Rumor mill: Is Michelle Obama pregnant?

By GottaLaff

Photo: GETTY

She's 45, so I highly doubt it:

In a posting on perezhilton.com he writes: "This is completely unconfirmed and at this point just a 'rumour' but ... we're hearing the talk in DC is that Michelle Obama is pregnant.

"Could this be true????? It'd be happy news! Hopefully it's a boy!"

Mrs Obama, known as America's "mom-in-chief", has stated that she and her husband and "commander-in-chief", President Barack Obama, do not plan to have another child.

The couple already have two daughters, Malia, 10, and Sasha, seven.

At the age of 45 Mrs Obama would be leaving it late in life to have a third child.

I've never read anything by Perez Hilton before, and I really don't like posting rumors, but I did anyway. Why? Because every time I do, the comments they inspire are more interesting than the posts. Have at it.

Update: Wal-Mart shopper did NOT have miscarriage

By GottaLaff

I'm posting this update because so many people are commenting and/or talking about this woman, and fortunately, worrying needlessly. However, it's still disconcerting, to say the least, that any of this happened in the first place:

A Wal-Mart worker was killed Friday after an "out of control" throng of shoppers eager for post-Thanksgiving bargains broke down the doors at a suburban store and knocked him to the ground, police said.

At least four other people, including a woman eight months pregnant, were taken to hospitals for observation or minor injuries, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island closed for several hours before reopening. [...]

A 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital, where she and the baby were reported to be OK, said police Sgt. Anthony Repalone. At least three other people were taken to hospitals with minor injuries.

I hope that reassures everyone. She's fine. Sighs of relief all around.

National Enquirer: "What Sarah's really hiding"

By GottaLaff

The Enquirer has been right on the mark lately. If this is true, I feel bad for the kids. It seems that they are going through some rough times. And yes, I thought twice before posting this, but it will be news soon enough.

clipped from www.nationalenquirer.com

PALIN FAMILY SHOCKERS: WHAT SARAH'S REALLY HIDING!

The NATIONAL ENQUIRER’S exclusive ongoing investigation of GOP VP Nom Sarah 'Barracuda' Palin’s goes far beyond a mere teen pregnancy crisis this week!

The Enquirer’s team of reporters has combed the Alaskan wilderness to discover the hidden truth about Gov. Palin’s family, which has become a central part of political identity.

The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively that Sarah's oldest son, Track, was addicted to the power drug OxyContin for nearly the past two years, snorting it, eating it, smoking it and even injecting it. And as Track, 19, heads to Iraq as part of the U.S. armed forces, Sarah and her husband Todd were powerless to stop his wild antics, detailed in the new issue of The ENQUIRER, which goes on sale today.

THE ENQUIRER also has exclusive details about Track's use of other drugs, including cocaine, and his involvement in a notorious local vandalism incident.

“I’ve partied with him (Track) for years,” a source disclosed. “I’ve seen him snort cocaine, snort and smoke OxyContin, drink booze and smoke weed.”

The source also divulged the girls would do anything for Track and he’d use his local celebrity to manipulate other guys “to get them to steal things he wanted.”

“He finally did what a lot of troubled kids here do,” the source divulged. “You join the military.”

And as Gov. Palin has billed the state of Alaska for various expenses related to her children, as reported by The Washington Post, The ENQUIRER's investigation reveals that she was so incensed by 17-year-old Bristol's pregnancy that she banished her daughter from the house.

Another family friend revealed pre-prego Bristol was as much of a hard partier as Track was.

“Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker. I’ve seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys. All the guys would brag that the just made out with Bristol.”

When Sarah found out the teen was pregnant by high schooler Levi Johnston, she was actually banished from the house. As part of the cover-up, Palin quickly transferred Bristol to another high school and made her move in with Sarah’s sister Heather 25 miles away!

And the ENQUIRER also learned that Levi Johnston, the baby mamma’s future wedded dada, who was glad handed by John McCain at the GOP Convention, isn’t too happy about his impending shotgun nups either.

“Levi got dragged out of the house to go to Minnesota,” Levi’s friend told The ENQUIRER. “Levi realizes he’s stuck being with Bristol because her mom is running for Vice President.”

The friend also confided that both Bristol and Levi “broke up a few times and they definitely messed around with other people.”

Meanwhile, as members of the Palin family’s war viciously over “Trooper-Gate” and claims of Sarah’s extramarital affair have turned the political race into a chaotic arena of threats, denials and vicious attacks by political black ops, The ENQUIRER has discovered shocking new details about the red-hot affair scandal!

H/t: Fernando

Bristol Palin's pregnancy was an open secret back home

By GottaLaff

Looks like we were the last to know:

Doe-eyed Bristol Palin, 17, and ruggedly handsome Levi Johnston, 18, have been dating for about a year, locals in their hometown of Wasilla, Alaska, told the Daily News.

And the pregnancy? An open secret in the close-knit town of 9,780.

Well, call me Outta The Loop Laffy, but I just got wind of it.

Wasilla mom Jennie Johnston, whose son Jade played hockey with Levi, saw the young couple in January at a game. [...]

She said her son told her the two were already engaged.

"They've been together quite a while, more than a year," she said. "I hope everything comes out well. These are local kids."

Unfortunately, these local kids made national headlines.

Wasilla Warriors' coach Bill Sturdevant said he never believed that talk.

"Knowing Levi, from having him as a kid on teams, something like that, it would show on anybody," Sturdevant said. "He was the same kid from the beginning of the season to the end. No signs of anything like that.

"He was a good kid to be around, with lots of friends. He was well-liked." [...]

Bristol's pregnancy was no secret in the town that lies wedged between two mountain ranges.

The mother of one of Levi's friends, who asked not to be named, told The News that locals knew about Bristol's pregnancy for weeks.

Besides his hard play on the ice, Levi Johnston was also a bit of hell-raiser off it - another reason Bristol may have been smitten.

State troopers popped Johnston last year for snagging some King salmon out of season in Moose Lake, records from Alaska wildlife enforcement show. He had to pay $370 bail.

That scamp. The troopers (would they be these troopers?) popped Johnston, and Johnston po... never mind. That was beneath me.

Mark Okeson, the assistant principal at Wasilla High School, told the Chicago Tribune that Bristol started her junior year last fall, in the town where Sarah Palin grew up.

He said Bristol inexplicably transferred to an Anchorage high school midyear, leaving Levi behind.

"I never heard the story why," he said."She was very well respected, very kind to be around. She ran in lots of circles."

He said he learned of the pregnancy Monday.

"I'm sorry to hear this, but I have every confidence they can handle this," he said. "Just like children should not pay for the sins of the parents, the parents should not pay for the transgressions of the children."

Unless they don't practice what they preach.

H/t: Joe

Sarah Louise Palin's Big Announcement: The Video

By GottaLaff

Here you go:

Obama, a class act, says "back off" Palin

By GottaLaff

Obama's not only smart, he's a smart gentleman. This is a lesson in doing the right thing. Maybe John Sidney Eldon Smith McCain (and his wife) could give it a try, if he's even capable.

Pay attention, J Sid:

Sen. Barack Obama told reporters to "back off" Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her family, following the GOP vice presidential candidate's disclosure that her unmarried 17-year-old daughter is pregnant.

"I have said before and I will repeat again, I think people's families are off limits," Obama declared after attending a Labor Day picnic here. "People's children are especially off limits. This shouldn't be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin's performance as a governor or her potential performance as a vice president. So I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories."

He continued, "You know, my mother had me when she was 18. How family deals with issues and teenage children, that shouldn't be the topic of our politics. I hope that anybody who's supported me understands that's off limits."

The Democratic nominee grew heated when a reporter asked him about an unattributed quote from a John McCain aide that linked his campaign to Palin pregnancy rumors that have swirled on gossip and liberal blogs in recent days. The McCain campaign offered no evidence for the charge, and to the contrary, as the chatter percolated over the weekend, most Obama aides seemed reluctant to even acknowledge it, much less fan the flames. The Illinois senator has been on the receiving end of numerous baseless allegations and whisper campaigns, including that he is a Muslim and is hostile to Israel.

"I am offended by that statement," Obama shot back, in response to the McCain aide's charge. "There is no evidence at all that any of this involved us. I'm hope I'm as clear as I can be. In case I'm not, let me repeat: We don't go after people's families. We don't get them involved in politics. It's not appropriate and it's not relevant. Our people were not involved in any way in this and they will not be. If I ever thought that it was somebody in my campaign who's involved in something like that, they'd be fired."

Klassy, with a capital K.