, and wanted me to share. Gladly:
The last thing I heard about '80s action hero Chuck Norris beyond his illustrious film career was a couple of years ago when I was introduced to the online irony factory called ChuckNorrisFacts.com. For a while there, all the cool kids were spewing hilarious "truisms" about Norris' supposed supernatural abilities.
[...] The last one on that list?- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
[...] Much like ChuckNorrisFacts.com makes dough off of Chuck Norris' retro popularity, the right wing is learning how to cash in politically on the martial arts actor turned conservative puppet.
It was fine for awhile. Until they started talking about armed insurrection. Who else could possibly be responsible for taking this several steps too far but the craziest righty on television, Glenn Beck. Beck had Norris on his show last week to promote Norris' new book and Beck's new political army.
Norris described the exchange on his post-interview column at -- where else -- World Net Daily:
[Beck said] "If this country starts to spiral out of control... Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up." Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, "And where's that going to come from?" He answered his own question, "Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?" I replied, "Oh yeah!" Definitely.
Chuck then proclaims he's going to run for the presidency of Texas, which would be funny if he weren't serious. [...]
But this is much scarier than any fan club. Norris ends his column encouraging readers to get together with other conservative "cell groups" (not community organizations, cell groups) to watch Beck's live telecast on Friday the 13th. Notice his specific mention of people with guns to be in attendance (emphasis mine).
Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"
The telecast is supposedly to launch the movement Beck is calling "We Surround Them."
Beck lists nine principles guiding his new movement on his Web site. [...] My favorite, though, marks a turnaround for the hardcore right. After years of conservatives screaming that those who don't support the president are un-American and want our troops to die terrible deaths, Beck comes out with principle number eight:
"It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion."
Beck said this on his show when introducing the eighth principle: "My opinion or others' opinions may be anti-American. Anti-American rhetoric would be anything that's destructive to the Constitution and our country as the founders understood it unless you want to change that."
He then called his audience to action saying, "If you agree with seven of these nine, please, stand up and fight for them."
Beck's followers describe the movement in terms of 9/11 and seem to equate the Obama Administration with the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks. [...]
So far, I seem to have little to fear. The only meetup planned in Chicago, at a bar on the far west side of the city, has a total of two people signed up to attend. So much for "surrounding." Not only do Norris and Beck spend their brief on-air time together plotting some sort of vague armed insurrection, but also they dreamt up a Michele Bachmann-style investigation into Washington politics, only with more violence and led by the military instead of the media. From the transcript of the show (again, my emphases):
BECK: I would love to have General Petraeus go up to Washington and clean that hornet's nest out. I'd like him to set up a military tribunal and call them in one by one, okay, going to have a little interview with you. Find out if they're guilty or innocent of being involved in, you know, all kinds of the scandals that are going on and kick them out.
NORRIS: I want to go with General Petraeus myself and be next to him and when he finds out who's guilty and, you know, dishonest, then I will take care of it for him. Took him out. I'll choke them out, the ones that he finds dishonest, I will choke them out and stick them into a pile.
[...] But it's not crazy wack jobs such as Beck that pose the biggest threat to our nation. It's easily indoctrinated people such as Norris who are good at selling Americans crap they don't need that we should worry about.
I edited the piece down some. You can read it in full
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