Michele Bachmann Wonders Why Democrats Dislike Her

By GottaLaff

I could tell Michele why people don't like her if only she'd call. Text? E-mail?

In an interview with the St. Cloud Times, Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is confused about why she's the target of so many Democratic attacks.

Said Bachmann: "I grew up a Democrat in a Democrat family."

Let's start right there. It's Democratic, Michele, not "Democrat". There is no way you couldn't know that using that term is offensive. Hint: This is just one small, teeny tiny, minuscule reason why Democrats don't wanna be your BFF. Okay? Hmm? Good.

My husband and I both worked on Jimmy Carter's presidential campaign. The first time I ever came to Washington was to dance at Walter Mondale's inaugural ball. It was a thrill for my husband and me, and we were both happy to work on behalf of Walter Mondale and Jimmy Carter. We really believed in them when we were in college. So in some ways I don't understand why the Democratic Party would be opposed to me, because I stand for the same values that my parents stood for when we were Democrats."

Well, for one, you're a liar.

Then there's that whole ill-conceived incitement thing.

Of course, we can't overlook the targets of your admiration.

Of of your misplaced ire.

Or the fact that you're no fan of Medicare.

Shall I go on? I could, but those are enough for now.

Of course, other than all that, you have our deepest admiration and undying respect.