Time for another Stand-Up Comedy Blog

By GottaLaff

"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!

Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

SARAH PALIN announced she's quitting her job as Governor of Alaska. Comedians and comedy writers all over the country went into deep mourning.

Lt. Gov. SEAN PARNELL will be sworn in on July 26th. If he doesn't work out, Alaskans are thinking of bringing in TINA FEY to finish out her term.

SARAH made the announcement in a cryptic and disjointed speech, but it was straight from the shoulder -- Her head was never involved.

Yes, SARAH PALIN is stepping down which, in Alaska, stepping anyplace is a dangerous thing to do -- with all that moose-pucky around.

SARAH is resigning because she can not only see Russia from her kitchen window, but the White House in 2012.

It was proven once again last week that death comes in threes: MICHAEL JACKSON, FARRAH FAWCETT and Governor MARK SANFORD'S political career.

The Governor's adultery confession may have hurt his chances to run for president. Then again maybe not. He dropped out of sight and didn't say a word for four days and Americans are finding that more and more attractive in a candidate.

AL FRANKEN was finally declared Minnesota's junior senator. His opponent, NORM COLEMAN told AL that being a senator is the best job that he, FRANKEN, will ever have. Right. Once you've schmoozed with HARRY REID on C-SPAN, you'll never want to go back to hangin' with STEVE MARTIN on SNL.

BERNIE MADOFF was sentenced to 150 years in prison but it wasn't all bad news. With good behavior he could be a free man in only 127.

I don't know if BERNIE is getting any special treatment in the federal prison he's now living in, but his guard was overheard calling a New York restaurant and asking, "What wine goes with slop?"

MANNY RAMIREZ ended his 50-game drug-abuse suspension but he doesn't seem to be completely free of steroid-female hormones he's accused of taking. His first words to the press after returning to the Dodger lineup was, "Does this uniform make my butt look fat?"

And after every game he rushes home to his Tivo -- to watch "The View."

A man was hit by Ford's new electric car and filed the first lawsuit in history to charge, "Assault By Battery."

F.I.L. rocks! Especially because he gave me a hilarious post to come home to. Thanks F.I.L.!