By GottaLaff
"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!
Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law. For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
BARACK OBAMA is now the 44th and the first African-American president of the United States. When MICHAEL JACKSON watched on TV he was so proud he's thinking about becoming black again.Pitch in and give F.I.L. a hand!
The inauguration had the largest gathering of celebrities ever. There were so many stars from the movie and music industries in Washington, for a minute there they were afraid they'd have to close the Betty Ford Clinic.
Security was incredibly tight at the inauguration, but BUSH got in anyway.
Washington D.C.(which now stands for "damn cold") had such freezing weather, if you add in the wind chill factor, PRESIDENT BUSH'S approval rating went down to minus 13.
It was so cold,ARETHA FRANKLIN had a burning "Presto Log" installed in her hat -- and no one knew the difference.
Hotels in Washington were so overbooked a lot of VIPs had no place to stay. Things were so bad, even BILL and HILLARY had to double up.
The next day GEORGE BUSH woke up in Texas in a cold sweat after a nightmare. He dreamed he was being asked tough questions by the press and there was no helicopter to drown out his answers.
The night before the inaugration, BARACK OBAMA hosted a dinner honoring JOHN McCAIN. You could tell the dinner was to honor McCAIN, it was over by 4:00 P.M.
As his first act as President, and to show his involvement in the Mideast, OBAMA telephoned Israel, Egypt, Jordan and the Palestine Authority. To show his concern for the economy he called collect.
Speaking of the economy, Warner Brothers, to save money, will cut about 800 jobs. Not to be outdone, Disney is coming out with a new movie called, "47 Dalmatians."
The new season of "Lost" kicked off on ABC this week. If you haven't seen it, it's about a group of desperate people out of touch with the world. Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't "Lost." I was watching PBS and it was a documentary on the Republican Party.
As the new PRESIDENT stated in his inaugural address. "We all have to work hard to fix this economy. Labor has to pitch-in, management has to pitch-in or we won't have a pot to pitch in."
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