Same-sex penguin couple split

By GottaLaff

That does it. Now that a gay penguin couple has gotten their divorce, the righties will start frothing about how Teh Gay can "switch teams" as long as the right hetero comes along:

Linda the penguin has split up two male penguins who lived as a nesting couple for six years at the San Francisco Zoo, caretakers said.

Male penguins Harry and Pepper had been so content together they were allowed to incubate and hatch an egg laid by another Magellanic penguin last year, zookeeper Anthony Brown said.

Watch. Wait. Listen. You'll hear the murmurs of "See? Conversion!" grow into roars soon enough. Gay-to-Straight Schools will be overcome by admission requests, and everyone will suddenly realize what a snap it is to become straight.

See how much we can all learn from our feathered friends? All it takes is a bird named Linda to achieve what nobody else could in the history of mankind.

Now someone please tell me this: How easy must it be, then, for a straight person to turn all gay and stuff? Based on the above logic, it must be a piece-o'-cake, right? Maybe, say, Sarah the Quitter could give it a shot and get right back to ya.