The Tale of Hillary and the Democratic Convention

By GottaLaff

Once upon a time, Queen Hillary lost the primary election. Her subjects were mad, mad, mad! They screamed! They ranted! They threatened to make mischief at the Big Convention! But her loyal footmen thought otherwise:

Some advisers to Sen. Hillary Clinton have concluded that a roll call of delegates at the Democratic National Convention would not serve her political interests.

They reason that Clinton would inevitably receive fewer delegates than she ended the primary with, which would send an unmistakable signal that her political standing had waned.

The Queen would be reduced to a mere townsperson if word of delegate defections got out! Nevertheless, she was lured by the sweet poison of the very vocal Citizens of the Land of Ego:

Clinton herself has been open to the idea in part because many of her donors, supporters and delegates have demanded it. Whether to hold a vote did not come up in negotiations over Clinton's speaking role, Democrats familiar with the subject said.[...]

Indeed, symbolic roll call votes are regular parts of conventions. [...] In practice, Obama would have to signal his acquiescence.

The downside of not doing a roll call is the possibility that unreconstructed pro-Clinton delegates will raise a procedural stink and gum up the convention.

That would never do! Stinking and gumming are forbidden at the Big Convention.

Alas, another sorrowful moment for Queen Hillary of ClintonLand:

A side note: news that Mark Warner would be the official keynote speaker took some Clinton advisers by surprise. During negotiations with the Obama campaign over her speaking role, the possibility of Clinton's speech being deemed the keynote was floated, according to these advisers, but it was never formally offered.

Woe is Queen Hillary. She has been relegated to the role of a mere princess. Perhaps, if she wishes very hard with all her might, and is very, very good, one day she will have her former title of Queen restored, and she will live happily ever after.

But not this August. And not at this Big Convention.