Oh sweet jeebus, this is lovely. Thanks to Newshounds for watching and Alan Colmes for finding his testicle. (You can skip to 2:50)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Firestorm As Colmes Compares McCain's Infidelity To Edwards'
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Hahahaha. Because McCain was a war hero he could cheat on his wife.
Paddy, McCain was NOT a war hero, he was a prisoner of war. Big difference. And unlike Hannity, I don't think being a POW is permission to have an affair. D.
and to the "...it was thirty years ago that he cheated." I say if that means it is now not relevant, than neither is his military experience since it was 30 years ago, too.
and he had more than one affair
I was hoping that Hannity would have pulled the old Henry Hyde defense that "his" affair was just a youthful indiscretion committed in his 40s.
Excerpted from The McCain Diaries: Notes From a Viet Cong Prison Camp, December 1969 - June 1970
Dec 23 - Can't wait to get out of here. Jesus my wife Carol is so hot. Tall and leggy, just like I like 'em. Can't wait to get home to my hot ex-model wife Carol. Also, it'd be nice not to get the butt of an AK-47 stomped on my nuts three times a day. When I get home I'm going to be a tireless opponent of any sort of torture. Tireless!
Dec 24 - Xmas eve. As a special treat, Loc Pham only stomped on my nutsac twice this morning. He brought mistletoe, which I thought was sweet. Held it over my balls as he smashed them with that AK-47 (I call her "Nancy"). No one should ever be tortured, ever. I hope they're not doing permanent damage to the Little Admiral; I can't wait to get home and have my hot ex-model wife Carol salute him.
Dec 31 - Letter arrived today from home. Hot ex-model wife in horrible car accident. Smashed both her legs. Broke her pelvis. Broke her arm. Ruptured her spleen. Not sure what that is, but I bet not having one ain't good. They say she'll be in the hospital six months. Thank god I've got excellent government-provided health care and have all my life, just like Daddy. Excellent tax-payer-funded government health care will put my hot ex-model wife back together again. I hope this accident doesn't make her shorter and fatter. That would suck.
Jan 1 - New Year's Day. They threw firecrackers at my nutsac today. Festive, but painful. END TORTURE ALWAYS!
Feb 5 - Apparently Ross Perot is footing the bill for my hot ex-model wife Carol's medical bills. God it's nice to have really, really rich friends. I'm just like Average Joe America, ain't I? Carol's on Surgery #16 this week and one of the richest men in America is paying for it all out of his own pocket. Still...I hope she's still hot. And tall. Hmm...
April 1 - Ha-ha-ha! Joke's on me, I guess. Loc Pham said there’d be roast beef and apple pie behind the little fingernail-pulling shed. But nope! Just a pair of laughing VC and a couple AK-butts to the nuts. I swear to God I will NEVER endorse torture of any kind, ever. Period.
April 18 - Hope Carol’s still hot. She’s on Surgery #18 now, that’s a shitload of digging around in her.
May 20 - Ross just paid for Surgery #20 and she still has 3 more to go. Thank god for mega-rich friends. Of course if he didn’t pay for it there’d still be my excellent U.S. Government healthcare. I can’t imagine how expensive 20 surgeries and 5 months in the hospital would be if we didn’t have rich friends and U.S. Government healthcare. Maybe Ross will pay for a nutsac transplant when I get back. Twenty surgeries! God I hope she’s still hot.
June 6 - Carol finally went home today. Twenty-three operations in all and now months and months of physical therapy. So we’ll have that in common, I guess. Broken bodies, broken spirits, long sessions of physical therapy. That’ll bring us together as a couple, that’s a priceless, sacred bond. Unless she’s short and fat now. Christ I hope she’s not short and fat now. I will so cheat on that bitch if she’s short and fat now. Because of that horrible accident. And the 23 operations.
June 12 - Pictures arrived today. Carol’s lost four inches of height. Which she apparently found again in width. Four inches shorter! That’s just what I need, to spend five years in a POW camp and come home to a short, fat wife! What, Ross couldn’t afford to send her to Fat Camp during her PT? Doesn’t learning to walk again burn calories? What’s the use of having a grotesquely wealthy friend pay all your medical bills if all you get when he’s done is a short, fat wife?! That’s it, I’m cheating on her. Big time. When I get home, I’m cheating on her. First hot rich robot-looking blond I can find.
June 18 - Man, I can’t lose! Even if I get caught cheating, even if I leave Carol because she’s too short and fat and banged-up, all I have to do is say “Five years in a POW camp, bitches!” and all is forgiven! Mental stress. AK to the nuts. All that excuses infidelity, right? And you know what? Screw Ross Perot’s “investment,” I didn’t ask him to pay for 23 operations and months of PT, I’ve got U.S. Government healthcare, I didn’t need his money! I’m cheating and no one can say shit about it because I’m a hero. Got shot down and everything.
June 20 - Christ my wife is short and fat.
This just goes to show that people find relevance where they want to find it. It does not matter if it is fair. John McCain cheated on his wife, left his wife, for a younger woman, 20 years younger I might add, and, his wife had been disfigured in a car accident. I agree. This is just as relevant as his much vaunted military service that was 30 years ago.John Edwards and his wife are trying to work through his fling and repair the hurt done to their marriage.That is commendable. John Edwards has not and is not leaving his sick wife.That is also commendable. The other woman says that the baby is not his. Why can't the press take her word? After all, John Edwards is a private citizen.
Elvis, thanks, but keep it shorter next time or we'll have to edit it, as we have with others.
But the snark is appreciated. : )
Hannity is the biggest tool I've seen on tv in quite a while, even outdoing Falafel Bill. His childish reference to Edwards' haircut, his "28,000 sq. ft" mansion (conveniently forgetting to mention McBush's 9 homes), and ridiculous argument that being in captivity makes it okay to cheat on his wife is the height of conservative chutzpah. But then again, reality never seems to intrude on that asswipe. Gawd.
I was watching when this happened. Mad props to Colmes for speaking up here. Hannerty was beside himself.
So can anyone answer the question. And is it not more important to know that McCain (who is running for President as a Conservative Republican) cheated on his wife than Edwards (who is NOT running for anything)?
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